prayer

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Tonight I'm praying these words from Philippeans would be true for me. That as I ask God for things and give over my anxieties to Him, His miraculous unfathomable peace will guard my heart and my mind in Jesus. If youre reading my blog, please pray for me that I would not doubt God and I would really trust Him deeply with where He has called me and all the things He has given/taken away recently, especially my support.

This weekend was our missions conference at Mitchell Road Presbyterian Church, where missionaries from all over the world come to update us and tell us all that God is using them to do to advance the gospel around the world. Honestly, its one of my favorite times because I get to experience a taste of ministry outside of the US or in america in many different contexts. My field right now is the college campus! Which is exactly where God has me and where I need to be- but as I write I can tell you the truth, my heart is open to go wherever the Lord would lead me- here or far away.

Something big for me personally this weekend was thinking about the Biblical character Jonah and the disconnect he had in his heart. He knew God but did his own thing and wanted an easy life- like me. When we're disconnected from the heart of God, we're really disconnected from our own hearts too :( In thinking about this, I was challenged with a couple thoughts-
- why do I run to being an orphan daily, when I've got a dad who never fails me and always wants me?
-What am I doing with the longings of my soul? What things am I giving more adoration and thought too than I am to Jesus?

How do I respond? In my sinful heart I want to do more, go harder, be more useful for the Kingdom..but God says our righteous acts are like filthy rags. I am praying for a humble needy heart, we all must see ourselves as broken and in need of a savior. The whole truth of all that God has given us in Jesus is a miracle, so deep and rich it really never gets old the more you know of God and the more He reveals Himself to you and changes you. I dont think it ever gets easy to walk with God but thats my tendency to desire an easy life.

Lately I've been thinking about death alot, if you know me well you know that one of my best friends and mentors, Jessica, died a little over a year ago in training to be a missionary in Spain. I often get the chance to talk about her life with girls I'm building relationships with and leading in Bible studies, and its pricked my heart to think: If I died today, what would I be remembered for? What treasures am I storing up for myself here on earth that are useless and self centered?