God is teaching me so much right now. Oh how it never gets old that the only thing, the only One I can put my trust in is God alone. It seems like by now in my life I would have mastered this, but nope...my heart is definitely an idol factory.
I think I am going through a season of testing and suffering. Wait. I know I am. It seems that the theme of my days is resisting God, wrestling with Him, and surrendering. Theres something really freeing about being real with God, and we really can be totally free and real with Him because of Jesus. Just read the Psalms! God has spoken to me so clearly through the Psalms in this season...and I so identify with so many of the cries out to God for help and restoration. But there is also freedom to accept and rest in God's sovereignty, the life that God has written for us, the way He wrote it, and the hope and promise that He continues the work and makes us more like Him until we die. Thats hard to grasp, hard to live in, and hard to embrace. Ultimately though, I have to go back to surrender. Lord, keep my heart surrendered, totally devoted and open to You. That I would be able to say like Jesus, "Yet not as I will, but as you will." That is my prayer. I want to believe it. I want to trust in Jesus alone.
Heres one cluster of verses that have been huge for my head and my heart these past 2 weeks-so full of truth, instruction, hope, and a great amazing promise that God was pleased to make us His own!
1 Sam 12:20-25
Do not be afraid,” Samuel replied. “You have done all this evil; yet do not turn away from the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart. Do not turn away after useless idols. They can do you no good, nor can they rescue you, because they are useless. For the sake of his great name the Lord will not reject his people, because the Lord was pleased to make you his own. As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right. But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you. Yet if you persist in doing evil, both you and your king will be swept away.”
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