Its late...

Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."


Im sitting at our kitchen table, all 5 of my rommates are sleeping. For some reason, I really cant sleep and wanted to work on my Beth Moore study. Im so rational, sometime it makes for a boring time!
Im listening to one of my favorite contemporary Christian cds, called "The I Heart Revolution" by Hillsong United, and I absolutely love that it is live recorded. On all the songs, a crowd is singing with them, and it reminds me of big conferences where everyone is praising and singing to God! It reminds me that we as creatures here on earth really often fail to think upon and meditate on God Himself...singing songs of worship to Him is one of the coolest things we can do!!Its like, does it take big conferences to get us to connect with Him? thats a good question, and makes me think about my own life alot.
I have to work at 7 am tomorrow...today I got to talk with my boss about the end times, you know, its rare that people, even Christians, really talk about when Jesus will return. But it was cool, I have alot to learn about theology and everything, its scary and puts eternity into perspective.
Well, that verse in Matthew is my prayer, that I would seek first HIM. Christ above all. Its not easy to do, I am finding that out, how I am thankful for campus outreach and opportunities that call into focus what truly matters, that minimizes distractions. I have to admit that I am way less disciplined than I thought I was, and desperately long to rely on God like I did in south africa.
Im going to bed thankful- Beth Moore just asked us to write a little bit about what our lives would be like if God hadnt stepped in and captured our heart. No doubt my life would be strikingly different. I wrote something like, "Well, I would definitely have dated guys for the sake of dating, probably engaged by now to someone who just attends church but doesnt live for Christ, would have an entirely different wardrobe complete with revealing attire, and def be on the track to getting my PhD in something psychology related. Oh, and be obsessed with my looks and my ranking in society, or whatever social group." But how glorious. I am so so so thankful, here I am, learning how to live a life that is set apart, learning how to love Christ, experiencing the call of God for all that it is, and I am truly thankful!

"There is nothing like Your love.."

Waiting

I just purchased the new Matt Wertz cd on itunes...theres a song called Waiting on it that I really identify with right now in my life-

Im Waiting
All of my life been waiting
To get it right
But that still seems like its so far away
Im taking
All the advice Im given
Trying to find out
How a kid like me becomes a man

Cuz I guess Im just scared
Im the only one here
Growing old
Growing old but not quite growing up....

So lets see where am I at in life right now? The short answer is right where God wants me. And I believe that with all my heart and all that is in me. So, I think that song identifies alot of the fears that I am facing right now, even some struggles that Im going through...
-Im living in the Furman girls campus outreach staff house, so that makes 6 of us girls in all :) I love living with Christians who want to grow closer to Jesus in daily life, and who cause me to know more of Him.
-specifically, I live with Marybeth, who is on staff at furman, and discipled Emily last year..I really love it, because I get a glimpse of what staff life will be like, and also feel like she has a more inside understanding of who I am already because she knows em so well.
-I am in a discipleship group with Jacqui and Ellen, both on office staff with campus outreach, and I already feel like we can connect and go deep with one another!! Im so thankful to be a part of the group, it has been a huge blessing to be included in, and to be with 2 older women who are wise yet so humble.
-I am working part time at atlanta bread co..catering!!! I actually do like it, seeing as how I have worked some pretty hardcore jobs in the food industry, time flies when youre making sandwiches ;) its very humbling, yet i do feel as if the Lord led me here-my boss and her husband that own ABC are christians! and, of all the places I applied to...namely B and B works, YMCA, petco, home depot, and staples, it was the only place that called me back!! Can you believe that!?!? I mean, i just graduated from Furman...where I worked so hard your eyeballs would pop out when you heard how much sleep i didnt get while there.
-I am so so so thankful that my parents are supporting me and loving me where Im at right now. After sending me to the college of my choice, which costs a fortune, they have been nothing but understanding and loving to me right now. I am seeing more and more how blessed I am that my heavenly father provided me with an earthly father that displays a character that helps me to understand Him more closely and a mother who only wants the best for me...i am about to cry just thinking about them...I know my decision to go on staff has to be very hard to hear as a parent.
-I will hopefully start raising support soon! Which means, because i will be a full time college missionary, I have to raise all my funds, being supported by people who want to send me to the field to harvest workers for Gods kingdom. I am excited, but nervous about it, but i am trusting God to provide.
-This has been a season of sheer trust in the Lord- i was telling someone today that i really feel like i am blindfolded and God is leading me. Some days are great, some days I cant believe my life- what is a type A, planner outer, academic nut like me doing!? But, my life has been radically reshapen and completely changed by the gospel, by Jesus Himself, and I am ready and willing to use this new heart and life lived for God alone to advance the kingdom, grow closer to Jesus, share my life with college students full time!!
-I am doing a Beth moore bible study with the women at the church i go to - women from my age to 60 something are in it! I love it..I love being around grown women seeking to live in the light, know God more! Raise families centered around Jesus. Its so encouraging and I see that we are never too old to grow in our relationship with Him.
-i have been able to see Emily at least once a week! Please pray for her, working forty hours a week answering phones is probably the most draining thing emily owens could ever be doing, whatsmore, I dont think God created her spirit to do systematic work, its like stifling a rainbow and painting it gray :(
-I have been able to see some of my best friends over this past month, esp from this summer!
- I really miss south africa, the slower pace and community.........

Time keeps on slippin...

Emily starts work tomorrow, and tomorrow I move to Greenville. I was listening to Emily's ipod the other day and this kutless song-the lyrics of my life currently:


I thought I had it all under control
I thought my fate was still in my hands
All of my plans were firmly set
By the words that I say

I forgot how quickly things can change
Now my vision can not be the same

My life is not what I thought
I'm not where I planned to be
Though something's gone
There's nothing wrong with my changing world
Though something's gone
There's nothing wrong with my changing world

I need to let go of my destiny
I need to trust in things unseen
I believe in having faith
Though I yield my control

I forgot how quickly things can change
Now my vision can not be the same

I'm embracing all of my fears
I am watching them turn to delight
The very fears which were gripping my mind
Are now the hands shaping and sculpting my dreams


Well, its definitely true that God has really changed my entire mindset, and the outcome has been a giving up of my own plans. I think its been hard at times for my parents and for me in terms of my expectations of myself in their eyes, but its only out of obedience and reliance on God that I make these decisions that puzzle them.
Please pray for me in the time of transition, and that it would surely bring me closer to Jesus. There is just something about home sweet home that grips my heart-I never really look forward to leaving it! Maybe its just that I dont like growing up, and I wont lie, I hate it really....

Family Vacay!

Me and Kasey- she baked me a Welcome Home chocolate cake!
me and Em-notice the short haircut (i asked for an inch, she took 3 or 4)
Em and her sweetheart, Jake! He is definitely the guy for her!
the 3 musks! our facial expressions reveal our personalities ;)

the best dad in the world under our "sturdy" umbrella. Wish the worlds greatest mom were also in the pic, but she's camera shy.

Only in America!!

IM BACK!! Well, I only titled this post "Only In America" because that's one of the songs that I've added to my iopd lately. For starters, it feels good to be back in the summer sun, taking long showers, hanging out with the family, and resting. But I have to admit, I miss South Africa, and more than that, I miss the team!! At first it was a hard adjustment for me, to go from living with 3 girls that have become like sisters to me to being back at home!
The trip back was easier than the trip there, but God definitely used it to bring me closer to Him and to continue to build dependency on Him (Ive decided that this is definitely the theme of my life right now, no lie). I couldnt believe it when we finally arrived in D.C., and I could use my cell phone again!! The whole way to Greenville, it felt unreal- I think part of me felt like I would never make it back in one piece. God is good-He was faithful on all the take offs and landings!! So, dad greeted me in the airport :) It was great.
Since I've been back, our family took a week long vacation to Isle of Palms, which was fantastic because I love summer, and I got to enjoy the beach, the sun setting at 8:30 (3 more hours than Africa!!), and watching the Olympics. I'm thankful that mom and dad were willing to wait for me for the vacation, and it was probably one of the most fun vacations I have ever taken- we stayed at the coolest and nicest beach house I've ever been in!!! It was so fun- my favorite thing I did was take a bike ride through Wild Dunes (where we were staying)- I absolutely love riding and walking through neighborhoods, and it was just the right temperature! Jake came for a few days, which is always fun, and I really mean it.
Spiritually, some of the coolest things for me have been studying the Bible with Emily and Kasey! We have been studying Ephesians together, and we talk about real, deep things all the time...we had a great talk on a walk the other day that I will never forget. I have thought about the girls in Africa alot, and even emailed with a few. All the things that I experienced, all that God taught me, has really changed my heart- it has shown me that if I am willing, God can use me, and that Jesus has radically changed my life and can radically change anyone's life, no matter who they are. Which leads me to this- I really feel that God has a unique plan for my life, like He does for everyone's life, and I am fighting hard right now to trust that. I had a talk with the campus outreach director, and we are prayerfully considering that I would go on staff with Campus Outreach. Be a full time missionary to college students here in America :) That is the desire of my heart. Right now, Im excited but also scared about the future, I fear failure sometimes, and I know that the process for going on staff isnt easy-raising support is a process that I feared in going to South Africa, and the task seems overwhelming. But I am trusting that if God does want me on staff, He will provide me a team of supporters who will send me to do God's will. Once again (like the start of this summer), I am so aware of how out of control of my life I am and how in control of my life God is!! Im very thankful for all the people that supported me financially and in prayer this summer, and for my close sisters in Christ like Jennifer, Taylor, Wendy, Christine, Ashton, and Brittni who have encouraged me and continue to point me to Christ, not myself!
Its weird but cool to be back in Rutherfordton- in High School, I wasnt a Christian, so the way I lived here was definitely in the dark..but how amazing is it that life is so different now? Freedom. Thinking about this fall, if I had accepted going to grad school, I would have started today....I'm thankful God changed my heart and sent me to South Africa this summer!! Here are some things I am so so thankful for since I have arrived at home sweet home:
-sleeping in!!
-watching movies and tv, i never loved them until now!(High School musical and the Office)
-talking to my parents and sisters FACE TO FACE!!
-sugary cereal
-the beauty of summer nights
-songs that bring me closer to Jesus
-working out at the gym!
-deep conversations with Emily
-phone calls from the girls on the team!

I will update later...thanks for anyone who has prayed for me, and is praying for me!! ;) Please pray for my decisions about staff, and the usual, TRUST in the Lord!!

Going home....

Well..its almost time to head back to America. On tuesday, our team will go out for lunch then to the airport to go through customs- i think the flight is 18 hours!! Im not looking forward to it at all.
Im sitting in a Brazillian coffee shop in menlyn mall, making one last phone call to Em! I cant believe that our time in Pretoria is almost up- Elna's house definitely feels like home to me. I dont think I can sum up my time in SA right now, but I do know that God has been so faithful to me, really met me here this summer, and has grown me in so many ways!! I am so thankful for the girls that i have grown to love like sisters, for my partnership with Ashton and Charity, and for the ways that I have seen God more clearly and deeply.
Im really sad that this summer is drawing to a close, but happy to see the fam soon! Thanks for anyone who has prayed for me here, and continues to remember me in prayer- I am so grateful. I will keep up this blog hopefully because my journey does not end here, I will be on this adventure to know more of God and to make God known until I die.
Next time I write I will be home!!!

Welcome to the Princess Palace!

Well, thats a picture of our door! The Princess Palace consists of the girls that live in the main house at Elna's- me (Ariel), Teenie (Cinderella), Ashton (Belle), and Sara (Sleeping Beauty).Our room has gotten really close this summer (or winter). I think thats the thing that I will miss the most about South Africa- living with these girls! Ashton and I are ministry partners, and although were very different, she is definitely one of my best friends- we balance eachother out really well, and I feel like we are sisters! Other than my room, I've also gotten to know Brittni real well!!
So, time is getting shorter and shorter in South Africa. A week from today, we will be packing our suitcases and preparing to leave. Next tuesday, we're going out to lunch one last time at Nando's (one of my favorites!!!!) and then heading to Johannesburg to fly out around 6 PM, 12 PM american time. Please pray if you think about it, Im really nervous- we have to take off and land a total of 3 times before reaching home sweet home in Greenville, SC. But, I dont want to think about leaving just yet, and part of me isnt ready to-theres still a week of stuff to be done here in SA!
Lately, Ashton and I have been very busy- the pics below are some highlights of our week! We went shopping with Charity on Friday and had dinnter at Mugg and Bean (the closest thing to like a nicer Panera Bread) and then went to a Christian Rock and Rap concert put on by campus outreach with Hadi and Neikkie. The pic below is a pic of Neikkie and I with the lead singer of the Afrikaans Christian rock band- I dont know the name because it isnt in english, and the entire time that band played, I had no clue what they were singing or saying- but, they seemed very popular. On saturday, our team went to a pro soccer game-manchester united vs the chiefs. I stuck it out the 1st half, but pulled out my book the 2nd half. It was very crowded and kind of scary, but cool to get to say that Ive seen the number 1 team in the world (manu) play soccer! We went on a group date with another res of guy called Maroela (pronounced Ma rule a) to Mugg and Bean for milkshakes, then to see the new batman (SA is a week behind the US).
So, now im sitting in Mugg and Bean paying to use the net so that I can also use Skype. Im thankful to have a day of rest.
Some of the cool things that God has taught me this past week is that He is in control and over all things, and that no matter what we are going through or how the day goes, He deserves to be praised. I think before I came to SA, I had a view that limited God- kind of like, I will serve you if___ or because life is going good, etc. But, being here and being stretched alot and really having to rely on Jesus to make it through the days sometimes, I have really seen that God is superior in life, and in everything, even small things. It has made me appreciate that I can talk to people, even in another country, about Jesus- the message is for anyone and everyone, no matter where they are in life. This past week, I got to share my life story with a girl named Amo-even though she isnt a Christian, she is attracted to the message of it-that we are free, new creations when we give our life to Jesus!! Something is holding her back, and it could be that morality, the good things that we do, are what makes us a Christian or not in her mind- but if that were the case, then we'd all be climbing up a mountain that had no peak, because everyone knows that for one thing, our motivations for doing good arent always pure, and for another thing, thats a legalistic life lived in pursuit of doing good, not God.
Anyways, it has been one awesome summer- i have gotten to really rest in God and come to know more and more about ministry than ever before!! Hopefully I will get to update this before we leave!! Until next time-