...

I cant even think of a title for this...all I can say is that I love this song, which basically expresses the cry of my heart...

believing and battling lies is a lifestyle for me. In many ways, I didnt plant the lies, but must uproot them and make new paths for Truth in my life. To see God take me from a place of complete darkness and hopelessness, living a life in isolation and depression, to a life of grace and freedom is nothing short of a miracle, and the more I grieve the loss of dreams and hopes for my past, the more I see God's redeeming power and faithfulness to me by giving me the gift of a loving and accepting Dad because of Jesus. I am accepted. The One who accepts me really loves me. My flesh continues to fight against this truth, but my heart knows it to be true... It is.

Maggie Grace McCoun!

EMILY HAD A BABY!!!!!!!!
If you cant tell, Im SO SO SO SO SO excited about being an aunt, and even more excited for Em and Jake to get to have a family of 3!
Even right now I wish I could be in Clinton helping with Maggie and holding her. She is just precious and sweet and little, and I already love her so much. I see how great and important the family unit is in life, and how God has really created it for us to know more of Him and worship Him. What a small reflection of His fatherly love for us that earthly parents get to experience and communicate to their own children. I feel like I have in some ways gotten to really be a part of Emily's preparation for Maggie, and cant wait to spend time with her and pray for her and love her for who and how God created her to be:)
Some of the time in pictures....

 Emily's shower at the Camps house- all of the sisters :)

 Emily's shower in Clinton, complete with Camus and Maggie there in spirit (in Amandas artwork!)

 Em and her D group!

 Me and Em :) You cant tell it, but she's due any day now!

 My first picture of the beautiful new mom and little Maggie. Overjoyed to finally meet her and check on Em.

 The McCouns!!! aka best looking family in the south...this is after hours and hours of labor!

 Jake holds his little girl:)

 It's my turn to hold her..... :)

 Beautiful. Look at Em- the 2 princesses.

 Baby princess. So precious.

Mom and daughter! Praise the Lord for this amazing gift. I cant wait to help...and for all the joy little Maggie will bring to our family.

the question of the day...

I've been reading a chapter of E.M. Bounds complete work on prayer every day. Prayer...I am really intrigued by it and have experienced so many answers to prayer personally over the past couple years that I am pushed to pray more and more. I do like to pray and talk with God and dont do it nearly enough. After I've laid my soul bare before the Lord, I immediately experience peace and rest, knowing the sovereign Lord has heard all my cries, and knowing that (hard truth) life is not about me but about Him, and about making me more like Him. Its about His will being done, and Him getting glory, for our joy.

So the question I'm thinking about is about faith...E.M. Bounds says the first thing we must have to pray is faith. We must "out of sheer helplessness, stretch forth hands of faith. He must believe, where he cannot prove." Faith hopes and believes. It TRUSTS.

As I have been thinking about my own trust issues with the Lord which are many, this question from ch. 2 has been on my mind: "Have I faith in God? Have I real faith- faith which keeps me in perfect peace, about the things of earth and the things of heaven?"

just thinking...

what would it be like to never know the name of Jesus? To not even have the concept in your mind? I wonder....
been thinking about missions lately, and do feel like God is calling me to deeper surrender and less comfort. Even in small things in life. I do want to be willing to do anything to serve God, no matter where I am, no matter what the cost...to be able to do that, I must be surrendered in heart to Him. Not saying God is calling me to something new, but even here in the somewhat familiar, God wants more of me, and I know that, and its beautiful because He does whatever it takes to get all of me, and I want to be obedient. And its endless..getting to know God and experience Him. As I seek Him now so I will seek Him no matter the continent, no matter the place, and want to authentically seek Him wherever I am.
I really do love the thought of being in a team reaching people, which of course is what Im in at Furman. I was thinking about CCP today and the unique life on life chance we had...and I loved it. Wonder if I'll ever go back to SA or somewhere else with a team?
Im so thankful that I do know Jesus and that even in our "Christian" culture, people took the time to tell me about who He really is, and what He really did! Its so easy to downplay the cross....steal Gods glory for our own, making it all about us, when its not. How cool it is though that God includes us? And we can really know Him because of Jesus? The miracle that is the cross...only God can melt our hearts of stone.
I could type for a long long time so Im stopping here. Thankful for Jesus and His transforming redeeming power in my life, and Gods deep faithfulness in my life. I think thats the emotion I am feeling in life right now...thankful.

You know, Pamela Rosewell Moore's life principles I will always remember and go back to because they embody a life lived by faith..
1. Surrender
2. wait
3. walk in obedience

 trusting and resting in Jesus :)

more pics

I can resist..i pretty much love all the pics! So heres more. I especially love the one of Em and Jake and little Maggie in her belly. Only a few more weeks and she arrives!! I already have a little nickname for her, Maggie mouse :) I am so so so excited for her to arrive!!!

beach :)

went to the beach with the fam and got obsessed with instagram...honestly it is really cool! Here are some pics from the week:

heaven

Tonight I was listening to my pandora hymns station and heard this song called Worthy is the Lamb by hillsong. It made me think of heaven, and Rev. chapter 5 where no one is found worthy to open the scrolls except the Lamb. I just think of being in that room with John who is recalling everything God is showing him, and he says that he wept and wept because no one on heaven or on earth was found worthy of opening them...he probably felt  truly hopeless and completely empty. Until Christ is worthy! I cant comprehend His perfection and humility to be slain for us. It really painted a picture to me of our unworthiness, of how imperfect we are, but how amazing God is that He would make Himself a man so that we have hope and a real deep relationship with Him now...based on nothing but what was done for us by Jesus. 

"Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing at the center of the throne, encircled by the four living creatures and the elders. The Lamb had seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God sent out into all the earth. He went and took the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne. And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of God’s people. And they sang a new song, saying:    “You are worthy to take the scroll     and to open its seals,  because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased for God     persons from every tribe and language and people and nation.   You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God,     and they will reignon the earth.”  Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they were saying:    “Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!”


lyrics of the song.

Thank you for the cross Lord
thank you for the price you paid
bearing all my sin and shame
in love you came,
and gave amazing grace


Thank you for this love Lord
thank you for the nail-pierced hands
washed me in your cleansing flow,
now all i know,
your forgiveness and embrace


Worthy is the Lamb!
seated on the throne
I crown you now with many crowns
you reign victorious!
High and lifted up
Jesus son of God
the treasure of heaven crucified
worthy is the lamb
worthy is the lamb