LP: weeding out selfishness

A few pics from the LP!

Well, our 3 weeks at the project are over. It was fun, it was great, and it was sanctifying. Thats the typical response about how the LP was...and its true. More than anything, my time at the LP showed me how selfish I am, and how much I want to be served. I do not at all want to die to myself. I struggled with being grumpy and moody quite often, because I would have this plan in my head for how the day should go, and my day went the way I wanted it to go probably 3 times out of the 19 days there!! I wont miss taking a shower in water up to my ankles with little specks in it, or the oversized closet we lived in for the last 5 days. But I will miss the students! We are so thankful for the things we take for granted....praise God (seriously) for a stove, clean sheets, warm shower, and closet! And a house that is just ours, not 150 other peoples :)

Life.....!!!

It's been too long since I have written...and there is so much to type, I could honestly write a book! Well. March 3, the Lord graciously gave me the gift of marrying Daniel!...! I have seriously learned so much about trusting God, prayer, and sin through this whole process. I have so much to be thankful for, my best friends who let me cry on their shoulders so many times about singleness and fear, people who prayed for me and prayed the Lord would allow us to date if He wished, and people who have listened to me and told me the gospel as I struggle seeing the depth of my sin in life right now.  The theme of life right now- grace. Because I honestly thought I was better than I really am. Every day, I am realizing how desperate I am...I really need Jesus.  Some pics! Since I havent posted anything (if you cant tell, I am not the most organized person in the world. As soon as I had alot of tasks on my plate, I couldnt juggle them all that well)

 We're engaged!

 Me and Em, right after Daniel and I went on our first date last summer!

 My best friends in the world- all the girls at the rehearsal

 Me and Lauren! Daniel's brothers fiance :)

 Em and I on my wedding day....poor Em. I stressed her out so badly that day.

 Me and Kase!

 Us on our honeymoon! Best week of my life!

 My handsome husband!

 The staff girls at a staff retreat we had recently :)

 Em and little mags! The cutest little girl in the world!

Me and Dan...we went camping!!

In life, I am experiencing the only stability I truly have is Jesus. As my identity changes in the world- new name, new role in life, new season- I am still covered in Christ and thankfully He doesnt change. But, more than anything in the world, the main emotion I feel even as I look at these pictures is thankfulness. I am so so so so so thankful for how God is sovereign and knows what I need in life.

...

I cant even think of a title for this...all I can say is that I love this song, which basically expresses the cry of my heart...

believing and battling lies is a lifestyle for me. In many ways, I didnt plant the lies, but must uproot them and make new paths for Truth in my life. To see God take me from a place of complete darkness and hopelessness, living a life in isolation and depression, to a life of grace and freedom is nothing short of a miracle, and the more I grieve the loss of dreams and hopes for my past, the more I see God's redeeming power and faithfulness to me by giving me the gift of a loving and accepting Dad because of Jesus. I am accepted. The One who accepts me really loves me. My flesh continues to fight against this truth, but my heart knows it to be true... It is.

Maggie Grace McCoun!

EMILY HAD A BABY!!!!!!!!
If you cant tell, Im SO SO SO SO SO excited about being an aunt, and even more excited for Em and Jake to get to have a family of 3!
Even right now I wish I could be in Clinton helping with Maggie and holding her. She is just precious and sweet and little, and I already love her so much. I see how great and important the family unit is in life, and how God has really created it for us to know more of Him and worship Him. What a small reflection of His fatherly love for us that earthly parents get to experience and communicate to their own children. I feel like I have in some ways gotten to really be a part of Emily's preparation for Maggie, and cant wait to spend time with her and pray for her and love her for who and how God created her to be:)
Some of the time in pictures....

 Emily's shower at the Camps house- all of the sisters :)

 Emily's shower in Clinton, complete with Camus and Maggie there in spirit (in Amandas artwork!)

 Em and her D group!

 Me and Em :) You cant tell it, but she's due any day now!

 My first picture of the beautiful new mom and little Maggie. Overjoyed to finally meet her and check on Em.

 The McCouns!!! aka best looking family in the south...this is after hours and hours of labor!

 Jake holds his little girl:)

 It's my turn to hold her..... :)

 Beautiful. Look at Em- the 2 princesses.

 Baby princess. So precious.

Mom and daughter! Praise the Lord for this amazing gift. I cant wait to help...and for all the joy little Maggie will bring to our family.

the question of the day...

I've been reading a chapter of E.M. Bounds complete work on prayer every day. Prayer...I am really intrigued by it and have experienced so many answers to prayer personally over the past couple years that I am pushed to pray more and more. I do like to pray and talk with God and dont do it nearly enough. After I've laid my soul bare before the Lord, I immediately experience peace and rest, knowing the sovereign Lord has heard all my cries, and knowing that (hard truth) life is not about me but about Him, and about making me more like Him. Its about His will being done, and Him getting glory, for our joy.

So the question I'm thinking about is about faith...E.M. Bounds says the first thing we must have to pray is faith. We must "out of sheer helplessness, stretch forth hands of faith. He must believe, where he cannot prove." Faith hopes and believes. It TRUSTS.

As I have been thinking about my own trust issues with the Lord which are many, this question from ch. 2 has been on my mind: "Have I faith in God? Have I real faith- faith which keeps me in perfect peace, about the things of earth and the things of heaven?"

just thinking...

what would it be like to never know the name of Jesus? To not even have the concept in your mind? I wonder....
been thinking about missions lately, and do feel like God is calling me to deeper surrender and less comfort. Even in small things in life. I do want to be willing to do anything to serve God, no matter where I am, no matter what the cost...to be able to do that, I must be surrendered in heart to Him. Not saying God is calling me to something new, but even here in the somewhat familiar, God wants more of me, and I know that, and its beautiful because He does whatever it takes to get all of me, and I want to be obedient. And its endless..getting to know God and experience Him. As I seek Him now so I will seek Him no matter the continent, no matter the place, and want to authentically seek Him wherever I am.
I really do love the thought of being in a team reaching people, which of course is what Im in at Furman. I was thinking about CCP today and the unique life on life chance we had...and I loved it. Wonder if I'll ever go back to SA or somewhere else with a team?
Im so thankful that I do know Jesus and that even in our "Christian" culture, people took the time to tell me about who He really is, and what He really did! Its so easy to downplay the cross....steal Gods glory for our own, making it all about us, when its not. How cool it is though that God includes us? And we can really know Him because of Jesus? The miracle that is the cross...only God can melt our hearts of stone.
I could type for a long long time so Im stopping here. Thankful for Jesus and His transforming redeeming power in my life, and Gods deep faithfulness in my life. I think thats the emotion I am feeling in life right now...thankful.

You know, Pamela Rosewell Moore's life principles I will always remember and go back to because they embody a life lived by faith..
1. Surrender
2. wait
3. walk in obedience

 trusting and resting in Jesus :)

more pics

I can resist..i pretty much love all the pics! So heres more. I especially love the one of Em and Jake and little Maggie in her belly. Only a few more weeks and she arrives!! I already have a little nickname for her, Maggie mouse :) I am so so so excited for her to arrive!!!