I never truly lived until I became a daughter of Christ

I probably have enough to write about to write a book, but I'll spare you and try to be more frequent with my updates. What have I been up to this past month? Until April 18, I was maid of honor aka wedding planner with emily, then after that heres the deal- flu for a week, trip to myrtle beach to secure over 100 jobs for the Leadership project this summer, staff meetings, raising support, spending time with my family and friends. 

Just to catch you up, my twin sister Emily married the man God chose before time for her to wed on April 18! She was beautiful beyond words, and the long awaited day came with no complications- except for my flu. As I sat in our local Belks, (our "mall"), getting my makeup done and talking excitedly about my plans to minister to college students, I felt a lurch in my stomach. Foundation was applied, blush brushed on, and I was all smiles...time kept on ticking, my temperature was rising, eyes squinting to read my watch- 2:50! It cant take that much longer can it? My lashes must have been coated in inches of mascara, because all of a sudden I'm sure its taking an eternity, and Im glancing nervously for the bathroom signs. My inner voice is panicking- How can this be happening? Everyone else is at the church, what am I going to do? Finally, I shakily slump to my car and lay in the sun, praying not to throw up........10 minutes later I'm throwing up outside the church in a bush. I feel tingly all over and light headed. Maybe its just nerves? I hope so, but I know in my heart that just cant be the case- I was right! Let's just say I was out of it, but I smiled and made it through the whole wedding and reception, I just spent the next 4 days in bed. Period. Maybe I talked to Emily a few times and watched some cartoons but other than that......I got the flu on the day of my twin sister's wedding! 

So how am I doing about Em getting hitched, thats one question everyone asks, and I appreciate it so much...I've walked through life with her, from entering Kindergarten side  by side in our matching black and white plaid dresses and shy smiles to our college years where the best days were the days we spent together, "studying" and sneaking away to Barnes and Noble to read magazines together and talk for hours...In a way too, Emily is like a daughter to me, I've spent my life taking care of her and have cried many tears through her tough seasons, especially this year. So her wedding day was probably one of the best and hardest days of my life. I know I'm gaining a brother in Jake, but in some small way I'm losing Emily. Its life. And its me and Jesus, thats all I need. 

So why did I title this the way I did? Lately I've been thinking alot about my life. My own father has had the biggest impact on my life and identity, and to me really is an earthly picture of Christ's love for His children in some ways. I look back at my life in High School, where I lived a double life- wearing the label of Christian but living in the world, loving all things materialistic and worldly, looking only at the surface, but craving depth and heart change. It never happened in high school, but guess what? My dad never abandoned me, never in word or in action. I've never doubted his love for me, and I know that in his eyes Im his daughter and Im good enough for him. In all my recklessness and sin, he was ready to accept me. Now that I know Christ and my heavenly Father, I know that my Father is for me, He looks on me with love, and delights in me. I have never experienced emotions, love, relationship and friendship as deeply as I have now. To know Christ and His love for us transforms our hearts like nothing else can. 

Tonight I talked to my dad about life and death, about God and about the Old Testament...so we talked about our heavenly Father together, and as His children, my dad and I will know eachother forever. 

Romans 12:8-17

Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.