freedom in surrender

there is real true freedom in surrender. Not just saying that you give up, but GIVING everything up to God.
Im going through alot of thoughts/things in my heart that God is revealing, and time after time, day after day, am finding enough strength for the day to just simply SURRENDER. It is SO HARD for me.  Which translates to, Im not very good at it.

I read a book last year, one of my favorite books- Safer Than a Known Way. Its all about Pamela Moore, Corrie Ten Boom's personal assistant. Anyways, alot of things in her life are similar to mine, and honestly, I will forever remember her hopes and dreams, and how God faithfully answered them all- in a way that she did not want. Yet He did it, He brought her to Himself time and time again, in her dry seasons, lows, with unfulfilled longings, with fear....and she said she always
1. surrendered
2. waited on the Lord
3. walked in obedience.

Ive gone back to these things probably a thousand times this past year. Thats what I want to do- and it all starts with SURRENDER.
I have alot of fear in my heart over not being in control of my life, but the reality is, I never had it to begin with. And i gave it all up when I died with Christ.

My prayer honestly is that God would give me grace to surrender. And wait on Him. And walk in obedience. And that I would really decrease. Lose my life for HIM.