Tuesday, May 17, 2011

what have i been up to?

fun things and not so fun things. I have more time on my hands than normal, and how can that translate into harder for me? I dont rest well and I love consistent fun stuff in my life. So, Im creating fun and as much of a normal life as i can:) Which means....zumba, seeing Brittni!, hanging with people i love like my house and older women and people i never get to see,  alot of time to think about who I am and where God is taking me, etc etc etc. And getting ready for the baby!!

The testing of your faith develops perseverance, and perseverance character, and character HOPE. My hope has to be in Jesus...like that verse in Heb. that says that we have this hope like an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It never fails us. Its like the bungee chord that definitely catches you no matter how many years in a row you jump, or the parachute that never ever gets old. Its so secure and firm that no matter what conditions, it always works, never tears, never fails you. Even if you think it is, it isnt. I think right now, in some ways, I can see where I've thought, its too good to be true. I rely on myself, but what can I offer?  This hope is not like me- I am not who I say I am. Im inconsistent in the heart, emotions, everything,

By God's grace I am what I am....nothing else, nothing more. I am tired of putting pressure on myself to be perfect. I want to be free of meeting everyone else's expectations, and most importantly, my own, which I never meet.

All my days are recorded already. Thats crazy! That really calls for radical trust.
God break me down, like you are, so I only rely on You.

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