idolizing Christ

My thoughts and life have seemed scattered lately, and that feels like reality. Reality feels like one of those trick ladders at carnivals that you start to climb and think youre definitely going to make it, but it suddenly twists and you can barely hold on. You fall off, or you manage to hang on and try again and again. Life feels like a bunch of "maybes", unknowns, question marks. But, my heart knows that even though thats what reality feels like, reality is alot better than these changing emotions and circumstances. Reality is that Christ is the only true, stable, unchanging person in my life. He is constant, He is sovereign, and all my days are already recorded in His book.

Today when I was outside walking, a song came on my ipod called "I Have Nothing" by Ginny Owens, which reminds me alot of what I'm thinking about my own life. Basically, I applied it to my circumstances like this- I can do alot of things that are good, noble, get praise from man, but if I dont love and cherish and cling to Jesus above anything else in this world, if He is not the One compelling me, then its all in vain. What am I spending my life on? What wont last into heaven that I am selling out my heart to?


I could travel over oceans, cross the deserts, climb the mountains
Just to share Your story, bring You glory, and win souls for You.
I could sing like an angel, songs so humble and so thankful
Full of drama and emotion, so the world would know Your truth.
I could give away my money and my clothes and my food
To restore those people who are poor, lost, and down-and-out.
Oh, I could succeed at all these things,
Find favor with peasants and kings,
But if I do not love, I am nothing.

I could live a flawless life,
Never cheat or steal or lie,
And always speak so kindly, smile so warmly, and go about doing good.
I could dedicate myself to do what everyone else wants me to-
Listen to them, compliment them, say the things I should.
I could show up every Sunday, lead the Choir and Bible Study
And they all might come to know me as a leader and a friend.
Oh, I could achieve success on Earth, but success cannot define my worth
And all these actions, all these words, they will not matter in the end-


Cause songs will fade to silence,
Stories, they will cease.
The dust will settle, covering all my selfless deeds.
So as I strive to serve You,
Won't You make it clear to me,
That If I do not love, I am nothing.


and If I cannot live my life loving my brother,
Then how can I love the One who lived His life for me?

Oh, Sent to Earth from Heaven,
Humble Servant, Holy King,
Come to share a story, get no glory, and save my searching soul,
You knew that I'd deny You, crucify You, but nothing could stop You from
living for me, dying for me, so that I would know