Scotty Smith's prayer of weariness

This prayer comes from a pastor named Scotty Smith's blog...he writes like I think, and this is how I feel today. Its 11 pm and I am so tired in every way.



The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isa 40:28-31

"This passage from Isaiah is underlined multiple times in my favorite Bible, and for good reasons. It reminds me that you’re not like me, in so many ways. You never get tired or weary. I do and I am.  Accepting limitations, finite-ness and weakness has never been one of my strengths. But I must. Since youths grown tired and weary and young men stumble and fall, why do I think I’m exempt from “running on empty” and hitting a wall?

Right now I look to you for all the spiritual, emotional, mental and physical strength I’ll need to live out the implications of the gospel just today. I’m not depleted, just heading there, but I have no doubts about your great compassion for me in Jesus.

     Because Jesus embraced the ultimate weakness and weariness of the cross, I’m confident of your burden bearing love. I may be weary in my servanthood, but I’m thriving in my sonship. Nothing can separate us from your love."

Amen.

Rest

Well, its very late at night, and I am trying to rest. Rest.  I feel like I am never caught up on rest...and there are alot of reasons for that-

one being, I look to the wrong things for rest. Often when I need to rest, its not just physical, but emotional and spiritual rest are so needed, especially when so many people literally come to me for answers, and spiritual guidance.

two is, Im an introvert, but I've been living like an extrovert. Basically, I havent been giving myself enough time with God and alone to meet my needs.

Today, I read Matt 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." 
He says to come to Him, that is JESUS. Come to a person. Not a computer, hobby, friend, tv, exercise, phone.....but to God Himself, Jesus. And He says we will get rest. It will be given... 


I think this goes very deep for me, because often I need a peace about my soul, that everything is taken care of, and because I feel burdens deeply and am a people pleaser, its even more important for me to really do this- come to Jesus with everything. 


He is where our needs are met, and the only one that can truly give us deep lasting rest. Resting in the promises of God and resting in the knowledge that my salvation, my lot in life, is secure, it is finished.

what ive been doing since the flu.

reading about Helen Roseveare's life..

                                                             watching Clueless

eating Cheese puffs & drinking diet cherry limeades..

   And borrowing Lynn's season 1 of Desperate Housewives, my favorite show while support raising.

Flu.

After going to the Alive conference for 5 days, which was AWESOME by the way, I knew I was getting the flu. On the long 12 hr bus ride home, I felt exactly like I did on the day of Emily's wedding, it was unforgettable. Sure enough, I had influenza A.


Having the flu has taught me alot about myself and about my relationship with God, which have honestly not been that easy to learn :(
Ive seen how....
I value busyness, and find my value in it
I base my worth not on WHOSE I am, but more on WHAT I do. This can only lead to an emotional roller coaster and discontentment in the end...no wonder I felt slightly down all week.
I have an entitled spirit. I want things when I want them, and lack patience in the work that God is doing in me.

There are alot more that I can think of, but.....yeah. Thats true of me. Theres not a quick fix, but accepting that who I am now is not who I will be, and who I am at this moment is not who I will be even next year.

Why can I say that??? because of sanctification. The process thats going on where God is making me more like Jesus daily. Basically, He's making me more set apart. Maybe I dont notice it daily, but I can tell you that last year at this time I am not who I am today, and thats really really awesome.

Since Ive been sick, I think, even though this verse doesnt directly relate, it speaks to me of my disgusting self reliance : "Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead." 2 Cor 1:9


My prayer is that my heart would not give into these natural tendencies to rely on self and find worth apart from Christ. But, it has to start with You, God, softening the crispy edges of my hard heart to Your will, and let me be willing to surrender. Its hard to surrender, but its really the only way.

Beautiful things.

 I love photography...by that I mean my favorite type of art ever is photography. I wish I knew how to take pictures. Thats one of my dreams in life, to get a good camera, and then do my dream job....photojournalist/evangelist in an unreached people group. Sometimes I look at pictures on etsy.com, where people sell their pictures. If I could I would buy tons of them!! Maybe thats what I should have asked for for Christmas. Here are some pictures that are beautiful and to me reflect God and the beauty of His creation....

 Romans 1:20 "For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse."




Psalm 19:1 "The heavens declare the glory of God; 
   the skies proclaim the work of his hands."

Christmas at Furman!!!

Well, these past few weeks have been some of the busiest yet! We've had 2 huge parties and have been preparing for the ALIVE conference in DC! 

Even though you couldn't be there, here are some highlights of our Christmas bash we had last week:

-smores, hot chocolate, and tons of treats!

-an eggnog chugging contest....not really my thing but VERY entertaining!!

-SLIP N SLIDE!!! In 30 degree weather, some guys (and a couple girls were brave enough to try) did a soapy and wet slip n slide in the guys front yard!

Natalee, Jordan, me, Hayly, Martha, and Suzanne (all freshman girls!)

Hayley, Martha, Suzanne, & Cecilia at our freshman Bible study white elephant gift exchange

Eggnog chugging contest.....very gross if you ask me! But the crowd loved it!

Alyssa, me, Anna, Allie, and Casey at my house!! 3 of these girls are KD's

The guys (Daniel, Sam, & Peters) house all ready for the Christmas party! Looks awesome!

Me and some girls hanging by the fire!!!

help me Lord.

Bethany Dillon- Hallelujah 



Who can hold the stars
And my weary heart?
Who can see everything?

I've fallen so hard
Sometimes I feel so far
But not beyond your reach

I could climb a mountain
Swim the ocean
Or do anything
But it's when you hold me
That I start unfolding
And all I can say is

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
Help me to sing hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
I'll choose to sing hallelujah

The same sun that
Rises over castles
And welcomes the day

Spills over buildings
Into the streets
Where orphans play

And only you can see the good
In broken things
You took my heart of stone
And you made it home
And set this prisoner free

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
Help me to sing hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
I'll choose to sing hallelujah 




Dad, help me choose to believe your promises, to believe that you are enough even when I dont feel like it, and make my greatest joy in life be YOU. Alone.