obedience

Something I'm learning is....either I choose to obey Christ, or give into slavery to myself. My natural inclination is to choose myself. But the Holy Spirit in me urges me to choose Jesus...and helps me do it.

If I had time, I would write a book about all that I am learning/thinking through in life right now, but its all so complicated and twisted that I just push it away. This is one of those times in my life where I simply cant bank on emotions or feelings, not even a little bit, because all they do is carry me away like the little seeds of a dandelion. Not saying its ever a good idea to bank on emotions or feelings, but saying that usually my feelings are very different from where they are right now day by day.

How do I feel? Like the psalmist in psalm 77....
  I cried out to God for help; 
   I cried out to God to hear me. 
 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; 
   at night I stretched out untiring hands, 
   and I would not be comforted.

But later in that psalm, he has a change of heart. He says,


Then I thought, “To this I will appeal: 
   the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand. 
 I will remember the deeds of the LORD; 
   yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. 
 I will consider all your works 
   and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”




Regardless of how I feel, God is the same, He is GOOD, and He is unchanging. And think about all that He has done in my life and in my heart....so I am fighting like the psalmist, to focus on WHO God is, not my feelings or my lot in life right now. Walking by faith, not by sight, not by what appears to be is so hard...but that is what God is literally calling me to each day. And its hard, not knowing the end, not knowing the outcomes, but I pray that I would believe that knowing the One who gives the gifts is enough, its enough to be led anywhere at anytime, as long as I am holding His hand and following HIM.