thoughts

just thoughts i have right now. i cant sleep. So weird, this has been one of the hardest weeks ever and I dont feel tired when its time to snooze.


-i cant believe emilys having a baby. it seems like yesterday she called me and told me she liked jake....wonder what it will be like? Will it be emotional? Will it have curly hair? Will it love art? Will it be a Christian? Will we be close?

-i love being a part of a team and living life with a small group of people. I kind of wish i were about to go to peru for a mission trip, or take a team to south africa or something. I miss my ccp summer right now.

-God really surprises me sometimes with how much He thinks i can handle. Its not like He doesnt always give me grace to go through it. Its just enough for the day and I cant accept that easily. I feel stretched by God but then I fear He wont catch me. I have small faith.

-Im way too unthankful. I hate this quality in me. Look at what God has done!! I didnt even know Him like 5 years ago! My whole life and heart change is a miracle. But why do I forget that all the time??

-I cant wait for my sabbath. I cant wait to just read and listen to a sermon and rest.

-Whats it like to be a missionary in another country? What would it be like to give your whole life for a people group? Could I ever live in a hut? Would I for the sake of Christ?

-What you think about and dream about reveals your idols. I think and daydream about so many things that have nothing to do with eternal things :(  I want to know Jesus more.  I know thats why my life is where it is right now, cuz ultimately, more than anything, God wants ALL of me. And He wants me to become more like Jesus.

oh life.