I'm here!

To all you faithful blog readers, just letting you know that I'm at the Leadership Project!!! 

The project is alive and well, and students are learning so much, Please continue to pray for me as I learn what it means to follow Christ. 

I will update soon, much longer!

Leadership Project 09- BURN!

Well, today is the day! Finally, after being in bed for no less than a week, I am heading to Myrtle Beach for the Leadership Project, an 8 week opportunity that Campus Outreach Greenville has where students from Wofford College, Furman, Presbyterian College, and Western Carolina University come to live in a Christian community and grow as leaders, in their faith in Christ, and have a blast!! 

I've been sick because of a roller blading accident, and had to miss my college roomie's wedding :( which I was in as a bridesmaid, and have felt the worst I've felt in my entire adult life, as in EVER. 

Well, here goes it- want to write more but dont have time. Please pray for me as I lead others this summer, as we, an entire project of over 100 people learn and grow, that we would glorify the One that created us! 

Our theme is BURN- Luke 24:32-

³²They asked each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?"

What does it mean to burn for something? What are you burning for in your heart, living for? What does God desire to burn away from and out of our lives so that we can glorify Him more? What is keeping us from experiencing joy? Knowing more of Jesus?

These are just some of the things we will talk about this summer. I'll post pics and other things as they come. Thanks for supporting me :) And praying!!

recent pics

I never truly lived until I became a daughter of Christ

I probably have enough to write about to write a book, but I'll spare you and try to be more frequent with my updates. What have I been up to this past month? Until April 18, I was maid of honor aka wedding planner with emily, then after that heres the deal- flu for a week, trip to myrtle beach to secure over 100 jobs for the Leadership project this summer, staff meetings, raising support, spending time with my family and friends. 

Just to catch you up, my twin sister Emily married the man God chose before time for her to wed on April 18! She was beautiful beyond words, and the long awaited day came with no complications- except for my flu. As I sat in our local Belks, (our "mall"), getting my makeup done and talking excitedly about my plans to minister to college students, I felt a lurch in my stomach. Foundation was applied, blush brushed on, and I was all smiles...time kept on ticking, my temperature was rising, eyes squinting to read my watch- 2:50! It cant take that much longer can it? My lashes must have been coated in inches of mascara, because all of a sudden I'm sure its taking an eternity, and Im glancing nervously for the bathroom signs. My inner voice is panicking- How can this be happening? Everyone else is at the church, what am I going to do? Finally, I shakily slump to my car and lay in the sun, praying not to throw up........10 minutes later I'm throwing up outside the church in a bush. I feel tingly all over and light headed. Maybe its just nerves? I hope so, but I know in my heart that just cant be the case- I was right! Let's just say I was out of it, but I smiled and made it through the whole wedding and reception, I just spent the next 4 days in bed. Period. Maybe I talked to Emily a few times and watched some cartoons but other than that......I got the flu on the day of my twin sister's wedding! 

So how am I doing about Em getting hitched, thats one question everyone asks, and I appreciate it so much...I've walked through life with her, from entering Kindergarten side  by side in our matching black and white plaid dresses and shy smiles to our college years where the best days were the days we spent together, "studying" and sneaking away to Barnes and Noble to read magazines together and talk for hours...In a way too, Emily is like a daughter to me, I've spent my life taking care of her and have cried many tears through her tough seasons, especially this year. So her wedding day was probably one of the best and hardest days of my life. I know I'm gaining a brother in Jake, but in some small way I'm losing Emily. Its life. And its me and Jesus, thats all I need. 

So why did I title this the way I did? Lately I've been thinking alot about my life. My own father has had the biggest impact on my life and identity, and to me really is an earthly picture of Christ's love for His children in some ways. I look back at my life in High School, where I lived a double life- wearing the label of Christian but living in the world, loving all things materialistic and worldly, looking only at the surface, but craving depth and heart change. It never happened in high school, but guess what? My dad never abandoned me, never in word or in action. I've never doubted his love for me, and I know that in his eyes Im his daughter and Im good enough for him. In all my recklessness and sin, he was ready to accept me. Now that I know Christ and my heavenly Father, I know that my Father is for me, He looks on me with love, and delights in me. I have never experienced emotions, love, relationship and friendship as deeply as I have now. To know Christ and His love for us transforms our hearts like nothing else can. 

Tonight I talked to my dad about life and death, about God and about the Old Testament...so we talked about our heavenly Father together, and as His children, my dad and I will know eachother forever. 

Romans 12:8-17

Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

changes

It's late. The night before my last day at atlanta bread company-abc.

I just have to write in here because I feel compelled to share with you all how faithful God has been to me- He is always faithful.
God has shown to me how He is my Provider. 7 months ago, I applied to all sorts of ransom jobs near my house in Greenville, and one day I went to Atlanta Bread to eat and a guy that worked their, who knew me as I was a regular as a student, suggested that I just apply for a job there because I shared my future plans with him.

About 3 days later, Amber from ABC calls me-I got an interview, and got the job, with my boss knowing about my plans to join staff and raise support.

It has been such a provision for me- I have loved working there. I feel very close to alot of the people I work with, and honestly am in tears as I type. I dont think my heart is so prepared to not be making sandwhiches with Amber, joking about my problems with directions, hanging out with Sarah, distracting Becky in the bakery, bugging Andrew about his grades, telling Fabi my life stories. ...
This transition nto full time support raising is something unknown to me and new..I confess Im scared!

God is faithful and He will provide for me, I know. Please pray for courage and strength in this weird in between place that I am. How thankful I am for my time at ABC.

prayer

I really wanted to update this blog, but wasnt sure at all about what to write about.....so, I began to think about my own needs/ what I am experiencing, and if you're reading this, I want to invite you to pray with me and for me as I move forward in trusting God.

So, what am I experiening and enduring right now? To be quite honest with you, I am experiencing a testing of my faith and trust, a call to deeper dependency on God. If you know me well, then you know that I'm quick to rely on myself. I struggle constantly with feeling the burden of doing the right thing, being that person who is so reliable, who is consistent, etc etc. I am a perfectionist at heart. So , what im trying to say is that I always fail. I always fail myself, others, my own expectations,...because Im NOT Christ! It's such a freeing thing to really rest in the fact that God is in control, I'm not, and never will be. Nothing I do or dont do changes the way that God sees me as I am covered by Christ!

So, lately, I have grown a bit weary in support raising, as I feel the burden and the time pressure. My goal is to raise all my funds before this summer, when I will go to Myrtle beach for the entire summer for Campus Outreach's leadership project, an 8 week experience for college students. I am so so so excited!! I am craving more Christian community, as I have felt somewhat alone in all that I'm doing lately.
I have also decided to take a step away from time I am spending with students at Furman- still leading the senior girls, but making sure that they are my priority above other relationships. This has been so hard for me!! I always want to say yes to people when they initiate towards me. But God is truly testing me, as this past week alone, He provided 6 opportunities for me to say no. 6!!! Now if that isnt the Lord! I am sure of it.
I am trusting God for support raising. Let me rephrase that. I am attempting to trust God for support raising. I'm not doing that great of a job at it. These past two weeks have been very emotionally draining for me, as well as physically exhausting. I have honestly felt a great burden on my shoulders, and I know it s a result of my trusting in Lindsay and not in Christ.

So, as you read this, would you committ now to saying a short prayer for me? Ask God to draw me nearer, and the Holy Spirit to enable me to trust Him with my whole heart. Let's ask God in faith through Christ to accomplish this task set before me.
Thanks!

James 1:2-7
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

John 15:7
If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.

Jessica Pety

A year ago today, Jessica Pety died in a car wreck. The news was shocking and sorrowful for me and all of her dear friends. Jess was preparing to be a missionary in Spain for 18 months, and was in training at the time of her death. Jessica and I were room mates at the Beach Project 2 summers ago- we had 2 other girls in our room too, and all of us got really close. Jess and I bonded late at night, as we both liked to stay up late and chat, and those are some of the best memories I have. I have to admit to you, that she was more than a friend to me, she was a discipler to me in the way she lived her life and the way she believed in me as a disciple of Christ. In my heart I will never understand why God chose to take her, but I do know that she is happier than she has ever been- she was so in love with Christ.

Things that I remember fondly about her-

-she loved movies! And had a ton of them

-she needed alot of rest and would often sleep in late

-Jess loved reading John Piper sermons

-she loved being around people, talking with people, and had the most relational capacity of anyone I have ever known in my life

-before bed at night, Jess would always take her Bible with her to bed and read some of it before she fell asleep

-like me, she had no sense of direction! We have gotten lost together plenty of times

-we bonded over our love for shopping & food

-she always twirled her hair when she was listening to you

-jess was very close to her family like me

well i could write on and on and on...but i want to type a card she wrote me at the end of our summer together because it means so much to me:

"My darling Lindsay Owens,

I cannot even say in words how grateful and lucky I feel that I got to be in your room this sumer. Lindsay, it has been so fun to just get to know you-the real, crazy Lindsay that I have grown to love so much.

I want to thank you, Lindsay, for your friendship this summer-for loving me, accepting me and giving me grace, and for all the fun we had together. You have no idea how those little moments w/ you got me through the summer. It was such a gift to be able to feel the freedom to just be myself around you, and you were such an encouragement when I was going through hard times and just needed someone to push me on. Lindsay it was also such a blessing to get to watch you grow and learn more about the LORD and your walk with Him this summer. Lindsay, what I saw in you was an open, humble, and teachable spirit. You always could talk about the things you struggle with without feeling like you have to make excuses or defend yourself. I loved getting to walk with you throughh issues such as your family, things that are hard at Furman, and struggles we share such as shopping. Thank you for being so open with me about those things. I learned so much from you this summer and was blessed beyond belief through your presence as a friend and fellow soldier in the room.

So.. its cool that we both go to furman b/c I know that this friendship can continue in the Fall and beyond! I'm so excited about accountability in August and pray that God will teach us and challenge us through that.

So, press on and keep fighting the fight, remembering that no matter what the world might tell us is gain, Christ is all we truly need!

Love always,

Jessica

" I thank my God every time I remember you"

I know that if she were here, she would be my greatest encourager.