Emily starts work tomorrow, and tomorrow I move to Greenville. I was listening to Emily's ipod the other day and this kutless song-the lyrics of my life currently:
I thought I had it all under control
I thought my fate was still in my hands
All of my plans were firmly set
By the words that I say
I forgot how quickly things can change
Now my vision can not be the same
My life is not what I thought
I'm not where I planned to be
Though something's gone
There's nothing wrong with my changing world
Though something's gone
There's nothing wrong with my changing world
I need to let go of my destiny
I need to trust in things unseen
I believe in having faith
Though I yield my control
I forgot how quickly things can change
Now my vision can not be the same
I'm embracing all of my fears
I am watching them turn to delight
The very fears which were gripping my mind
Are now the hands shaping and sculpting my dreams
Well, its definitely true that God has really changed my entire mindset, and the outcome has been a giving up of my own plans. I think its been hard at times for my parents and for me in terms of my expectations of myself in their eyes, but its only out of obedience and reliance on God that I make these decisions that puzzle them.
Please pray for me in the time of transition, and that it would surely bring me closer to Jesus. There is just something about home sweet home that grips my heart-I never really look forward to leaving it! Maybe its just that I dont like growing up, and I wont lie, I hate it really....
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Family Vacay!
Me and Kasey- she baked me a Welcome Home chocolate cake!
me and Em-notice the short haircut (i asked for an inch, she took 3 or 4)
Em and her sweetheart, Jake! He is definitely the guy for her!
the 3 musks! our facial expressions reveal our personalities ;)
the best dad in the world under our "sturdy" umbrella. Wish the worlds greatest mom were also in the pic, but she's camera shy.
Only in America!!
IM BACK!! Well, I only titled this post "Only In America" because that's one of the songs that I've added to my iopd lately. For starters, it feels good to be back in the summer sun, taking long showers, hanging out with the family, and resting. But I have to admit, I miss South Africa, and more than that, I miss the team!! At first it was a hard adjustment for me, to go from living with 3 girls that have become like sisters to me to being back at home!
The trip back was easier than the trip there, but God definitely used it to bring me closer to Him and to continue to build dependency on Him (Ive decided that this is definitely the theme of my life right now, no lie). I couldnt believe it when we finally arrived in D.C., and I could use my cell phone again!! The whole way to Greenville, it felt unreal- I think part of me felt like I would never make it back in one piece. God is good-He was faithful on all the take offs and landings!! So, dad greeted me in the airport :) It was great.
Since I've been back, our family took a week long vacation to Isle of Palms, which was fantastic because I love summer, and I got to enjoy the beach, the sun setting at 8:30 (3 more hours than Africa!!), and watching the Olympics. I'm thankful that mom and dad were willing to wait for me for the vacation, and it was probably one of the most fun vacations I have ever taken- we stayed at the coolest and nicest beach house I've ever been in!!! It was so fun- my favorite thing I did was take a bike ride through Wild Dunes (where we were staying)- I absolutely love riding and walking through neighborhoods, and it was just the right temperature! Jake came for a few days, which is always fun, and I really mean it.
Spiritually, some of the coolest things for me have been studying the Bible with Emily and Kasey! We have been studying Ephesians together, and we talk about real, deep things all the time...we had a great talk on a walk the other day that I will never forget. I have thought about the girls in Africa alot, and even emailed with a few. All the things that I experienced, all that God taught me, has really changed my heart- it has shown me that if I am willing, God can use me, and that Jesus has radically changed my life and can radically change anyone's life, no matter who they are. Which leads me to this- I really feel that God has a unique plan for my life, like He does for everyone's life, and I am fighting hard right now to trust that. I had a talk with the campus outreach director, and we are prayerfully considering that I would go on staff with Campus Outreach. Be a full time missionary to college students here in America :) That is the desire of my heart. Right now, Im excited but also scared about the future, I fear failure sometimes, and I know that the process for going on staff isnt easy-raising support is a process that I feared in going to South Africa, and the task seems overwhelming. But I am trusting that if God does want me on staff, He will provide me a team of supporters who will send me to do God's will. Once again (like the start of this summer), I am so aware of how out of control of my life I am and how in control of my life God is!! Im very thankful for all the people that supported me financially and in prayer this summer, and for my close sisters in Christ like Jennifer, Taylor, Wendy, Christine, Ashton, and Brittni who have encouraged me and continue to point me to Christ, not myself!
Its weird but cool to be back in Rutherfordton- in High School, I wasnt a Christian, so the way I lived here was definitely in the dark..but how amazing is it that life is so different now? Freedom. Thinking about this fall, if I had accepted going to grad school, I would have started today....I'm thankful God changed my heart and sent me to South Africa this summer!! Here are some things I am so so thankful for since I have arrived at home sweet home:
-sleeping in!!
-watching movies and tv, i never loved them until now!(High School musical and the Office)
-talking to my parents and sisters FACE TO FACE!!
-sugary cereal
-the beauty of summer nights
-songs that bring me closer to Jesus
-working out at the gym!
-deep conversations with Emily
-phone calls from the girls on the team!
I will update later...thanks for anyone who has prayed for me, and is praying for me!! ;) Please pray for my decisions about staff, and the usual, TRUST in the Lord!!
The trip back was easier than the trip there, but God definitely used it to bring me closer to Him and to continue to build dependency on Him (Ive decided that this is definitely the theme of my life right now, no lie). I couldnt believe it when we finally arrived in D.C., and I could use my cell phone again!! The whole way to Greenville, it felt unreal- I think part of me felt like I would never make it back in one piece. God is good-He was faithful on all the take offs and landings!! So, dad greeted me in the airport :) It was great.
Since I've been back, our family took a week long vacation to Isle of Palms, which was fantastic because I love summer, and I got to enjoy the beach, the sun setting at 8:30 (3 more hours than Africa!!), and watching the Olympics. I'm thankful that mom and dad were willing to wait for me for the vacation, and it was probably one of the most fun vacations I have ever taken- we stayed at the coolest and nicest beach house I've ever been in!!! It was so fun- my favorite thing I did was take a bike ride through Wild Dunes (where we were staying)- I absolutely love riding and walking through neighborhoods, and it was just the right temperature! Jake came for a few days, which is always fun, and I really mean it.
Spiritually, some of the coolest things for me have been studying the Bible with Emily and Kasey! We have been studying Ephesians together, and we talk about real, deep things all the time...we had a great talk on a walk the other day that I will never forget. I have thought about the girls in Africa alot, and even emailed with a few. All the things that I experienced, all that God taught me, has really changed my heart- it has shown me that if I am willing, God can use me, and that Jesus has radically changed my life and can radically change anyone's life, no matter who they are. Which leads me to this- I really feel that God has a unique plan for my life, like He does for everyone's life, and I am fighting hard right now to trust that. I had a talk with the campus outreach director, and we are prayerfully considering that I would go on staff with Campus Outreach. Be a full time missionary to college students here in America :) That is the desire of my heart. Right now, Im excited but also scared about the future, I fear failure sometimes, and I know that the process for going on staff isnt easy-raising support is a process that I feared in going to South Africa, and the task seems overwhelming. But I am trusting that if God does want me on staff, He will provide me a team of supporters who will send me to do God's will. Once again (like the start of this summer), I am so aware of how out of control of my life I am and how in control of my life God is!! Im very thankful for all the people that supported me financially and in prayer this summer, and for my close sisters in Christ like Jennifer, Taylor, Wendy, Christine, Ashton, and Brittni who have encouraged me and continue to point me to Christ, not myself!
Its weird but cool to be back in Rutherfordton- in High School, I wasnt a Christian, so the way I lived here was definitely in the dark..but how amazing is it that life is so different now? Freedom. Thinking about this fall, if I had accepted going to grad school, I would have started today....I'm thankful God changed my heart and sent me to South Africa this summer!! Here are some things I am so so thankful for since I have arrived at home sweet home:
-sleeping in!!
-watching movies and tv, i never loved them until now!(High School musical and the Office)
-talking to my parents and sisters FACE TO FACE!!
-sugary cereal
-the beauty of summer nights
-songs that bring me closer to Jesus
-working out at the gym!
-deep conversations with Emily
-phone calls from the girls on the team!
I will update later...thanks for anyone who has prayed for me, and is praying for me!! ;) Please pray for my decisions about staff, and the usual, TRUST in the Lord!!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Going home....
Well..its almost time to head back to America. On tuesday, our team will go out for lunch then to the airport to go through customs- i think the flight is 18 hours!! Im not looking forward to it at all.
Im sitting in a Brazillian coffee shop in menlyn mall, making one last phone call to Em! I cant believe that our time in Pretoria is almost up- Elna's house definitely feels like home to me. I dont think I can sum up my time in SA right now, but I do know that God has been so faithful to me, really met me here this summer, and has grown me in so many ways!! I am so thankful for the girls that i have grown to love like sisters, for my partnership with Ashton and Charity, and for the ways that I have seen God more clearly and deeply.
Im really sad that this summer is drawing to a close, but happy to see the fam soon! Thanks for anyone who has prayed for me here, and continues to remember me in prayer- I am so grateful. I will keep up this blog hopefully because my journey does not end here, I will be on this adventure to know more of God and to make God known until I die.
Next time I write I will be home!!!
Im sitting in a Brazillian coffee shop in menlyn mall, making one last phone call to Em! I cant believe that our time in Pretoria is almost up- Elna's house definitely feels like home to me. I dont think I can sum up my time in SA right now, but I do know that God has been so faithful to me, really met me here this summer, and has grown me in so many ways!! I am so thankful for the girls that i have grown to love like sisters, for my partnership with Ashton and Charity, and for the ways that I have seen God more clearly and deeply.
Im really sad that this summer is drawing to a close, but happy to see the fam soon! Thanks for anyone who has prayed for me here, and continues to remember me in prayer- I am so grateful. I will keep up this blog hopefully because my journey does not end here, I will be on this adventure to know more of God and to make God known until I die.
Next time I write I will be home!!!
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