prayer

I really wanted to update this blog, but wasnt sure at all about what to write about.....so, I began to think about my own needs/ what I am experiencing, and if you're reading this, I want to invite you to pray with me and for me as I move forward in trusting God.

So, what am I experiening and enduring right now? To be quite honest with you, I am experiencing a testing of my faith and trust, a call to deeper dependency on God. If you know me well, then you know that I'm quick to rely on myself. I struggle constantly with feeling the burden of doing the right thing, being that person who is so reliable, who is consistent, etc etc. I am a perfectionist at heart. So , what im trying to say is that I always fail. I always fail myself, others, my own expectations,...because Im NOT Christ! It's such a freeing thing to really rest in the fact that God is in control, I'm not, and never will be. Nothing I do or dont do changes the way that God sees me as I am covered by Christ!

So, lately, I have grown a bit weary in support raising, as I feel the burden and the time pressure. My goal is to raise all my funds before this summer, when I will go to Myrtle beach for the entire summer for Campus Outreach's leadership project, an 8 week experience for college students. I am so so so excited!! I am craving more Christian community, as I have felt somewhat alone in all that I'm doing lately.
I have also decided to take a step away from time I am spending with students at Furman- still leading the senior girls, but making sure that they are my priority above other relationships. This has been so hard for me!! I always want to say yes to people when they initiate towards me. But God is truly testing me, as this past week alone, He provided 6 opportunities for me to say no. 6!!! Now if that isnt the Lord! I am sure of it.
I am trusting God for support raising. Let me rephrase that. I am attempting to trust God for support raising. I'm not doing that great of a job at it. These past two weeks have been very emotionally draining for me, as well as physically exhausting. I have honestly felt a great burden on my shoulders, and I know it s a result of my trusting in Lindsay and not in Christ.

So, as you read this, would you committ now to saying a short prayer for me? Ask God to draw me nearer, and the Holy Spirit to enable me to trust Him with my whole heart. Let's ask God in faith through Christ to accomplish this task set before me.
Thanks!

James 1:2-7
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

John 15:7
If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.

Jessica Pety

A year ago today, Jessica Pety died in a car wreck. The news was shocking and sorrowful for me and all of her dear friends. Jess was preparing to be a missionary in Spain for 18 months, and was in training at the time of her death. Jessica and I were room mates at the Beach Project 2 summers ago- we had 2 other girls in our room too, and all of us got really close. Jess and I bonded late at night, as we both liked to stay up late and chat, and those are some of the best memories I have. I have to admit to you, that she was more than a friend to me, she was a discipler to me in the way she lived her life and the way she believed in me as a disciple of Christ. In my heart I will never understand why God chose to take her, but I do know that she is happier than she has ever been- she was so in love with Christ.

Things that I remember fondly about her-

-she loved movies! And had a ton of them

-she needed alot of rest and would often sleep in late

-Jess loved reading John Piper sermons

-she loved being around people, talking with people, and had the most relational capacity of anyone I have ever known in my life

-before bed at night, Jess would always take her Bible with her to bed and read some of it before she fell asleep

-like me, she had no sense of direction! We have gotten lost together plenty of times

-we bonded over our love for shopping & food

-she always twirled her hair when she was listening to you

-jess was very close to her family like me

well i could write on and on and on...but i want to type a card she wrote me at the end of our summer together because it means so much to me:

"My darling Lindsay Owens,

I cannot even say in words how grateful and lucky I feel that I got to be in your room this sumer. Lindsay, it has been so fun to just get to know you-the real, crazy Lindsay that I have grown to love so much.

I want to thank you, Lindsay, for your friendship this summer-for loving me, accepting me and giving me grace, and for all the fun we had together. You have no idea how those little moments w/ you got me through the summer. It was such a gift to be able to feel the freedom to just be myself around you, and you were such an encouragement when I was going through hard times and just needed someone to push me on. Lindsay it was also such a blessing to get to watch you grow and learn more about the LORD and your walk with Him this summer. Lindsay, what I saw in you was an open, humble, and teachable spirit. You always could talk about the things you struggle with without feeling like you have to make excuses or defend yourself. I loved getting to walk with you throughh issues such as your family, things that are hard at Furman, and struggles we share such as shopping. Thank you for being so open with me about those things. I learned so much from you this summer and was blessed beyond belief through your presence as a friend and fellow soldier in the room.

So.. its cool that we both go to furman b/c I know that this friendship can continue in the Fall and beyond! I'm so excited about accountability in August and pray that God will teach us and challenge us through that.

So, press on and keep fighting the fight, remembering that no matter what the world might tell us is gain, Christ is all we truly need!

Love always,

Jessica

" I thank my God every time I remember you"

I know that if she were here, she would be my greatest encourager.