Its late...

Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."


Im sitting at our kitchen table, all 5 of my rommates are sleeping. For some reason, I really cant sleep and wanted to work on my Beth Moore study. Im so rational, sometime it makes for a boring time!
Im listening to one of my favorite contemporary Christian cds, called "The I Heart Revolution" by Hillsong United, and I absolutely love that it is live recorded. On all the songs, a crowd is singing with them, and it reminds me of big conferences where everyone is praising and singing to God! It reminds me that we as creatures here on earth really often fail to think upon and meditate on God Himself...singing songs of worship to Him is one of the coolest things we can do!!Its like, does it take big conferences to get us to connect with Him? thats a good question, and makes me think about my own life alot.
I have to work at 7 am tomorrow...today I got to talk with my boss about the end times, you know, its rare that people, even Christians, really talk about when Jesus will return. But it was cool, I have alot to learn about theology and everything, its scary and puts eternity into perspective.
Well, that verse in Matthew is my prayer, that I would seek first HIM. Christ above all. Its not easy to do, I am finding that out, how I am thankful for campus outreach and opportunities that call into focus what truly matters, that minimizes distractions. I have to admit that I am way less disciplined than I thought I was, and desperately long to rely on God like I did in south africa.
Im going to bed thankful- Beth Moore just asked us to write a little bit about what our lives would be like if God hadnt stepped in and captured our heart. No doubt my life would be strikingly different. I wrote something like, "Well, I would definitely have dated guys for the sake of dating, probably engaged by now to someone who just attends church but doesnt live for Christ, would have an entirely different wardrobe complete with revealing attire, and def be on the track to getting my PhD in something psychology related. Oh, and be obsessed with my looks and my ranking in society, or whatever social group." But how glorious. I am so so so thankful, here I am, learning how to live a life that is set apart, learning how to love Christ, experiencing the call of God for all that it is, and I am truly thankful!

"There is nothing like Your love.."

Waiting

I just purchased the new Matt Wertz cd on itunes...theres a song called Waiting on it that I really identify with right now in my life-

Im Waiting
All of my life been waiting
To get it right
But that still seems like its so far away
Im taking
All the advice Im given
Trying to find out
How a kid like me becomes a man

Cuz I guess Im just scared
Im the only one here
Growing old
Growing old but not quite growing up....

So lets see where am I at in life right now? The short answer is right where God wants me. And I believe that with all my heart and all that is in me. So, I think that song identifies alot of the fears that I am facing right now, even some struggles that Im going through...
-Im living in the Furman girls campus outreach staff house, so that makes 6 of us girls in all :) I love living with Christians who want to grow closer to Jesus in daily life, and who cause me to know more of Him.
-specifically, I live with Marybeth, who is on staff at furman, and discipled Emily last year..I really love it, because I get a glimpse of what staff life will be like, and also feel like she has a more inside understanding of who I am already because she knows em so well.
-I am in a discipleship group with Jacqui and Ellen, both on office staff with campus outreach, and I already feel like we can connect and go deep with one another!! Im so thankful to be a part of the group, it has been a huge blessing to be included in, and to be with 2 older women who are wise yet so humble.
-I am working part time at atlanta bread co..catering!!! I actually do like it, seeing as how I have worked some pretty hardcore jobs in the food industry, time flies when youre making sandwiches ;) its very humbling, yet i do feel as if the Lord led me here-my boss and her husband that own ABC are christians! and, of all the places I applied to...namely B and B works, YMCA, petco, home depot, and staples, it was the only place that called me back!! Can you believe that!?!? I mean, i just graduated from Furman...where I worked so hard your eyeballs would pop out when you heard how much sleep i didnt get while there.
-I am so so so thankful that my parents are supporting me and loving me where Im at right now. After sending me to the college of my choice, which costs a fortune, they have been nothing but understanding and loving to me right now. I am seeing more and more how blessed I am that my heavenly father provided me with an earthly father that displays a character that helps me to understand Him more closely and a mother who only wants the best for me...i am about to cry just thinking about them...I know my decision to go on staff has to be very hard to hear as a parent.
-I will hopefully start raising support soon! Which means, because i will be a full time college missionary, I have to raise all my funds, being supported by people who want to send me to the field to harvest workers for Gods kingdom. I am excited, but nervous about it, but i am trusting God to provide.
-This has been a season of sheer trust in the Lord- i was telling someone today that i really feel like i am blindfolded and God is leading me. Some days are great, some days I cant believe my life- what is a type A, planner outer, academic nut like me doing!? But, my life has been radically reshapen and completely changed by the gospel, by Jesus Himself, and I am ready and willing to use this new heart and life lived for God alone to advance the kingdom, grow closer to Jesus, share my life with college students full time!!
-I am doing a Beth moore bible study with the women at the church i go to - women from my age to 60 something are in it! I love it..I love being around grown women seeking to live in the light, know God more! Raise families centered around Jesus. Its so encouraging and I see that we are never too old to grow in our relationship with Him.
-i have been able to see Emily at least once a week! Please pray for her, working forty hours a week answering phones is probably the most draining thing emily owens could ever be doing, whatsmore, I dont think God created her spirit to do systematic work, its like stifling a rainbow and painting it gray :(
-I have been able to see some of my best friends over this past month, esp from this summer!
- I really miss south africa, the slower pace and community.........